Friday, January 31, 2014

If Momma ain't happy.......

Just got back from a five day trip to Mother's.   She is doing ok.     She lives in South Florida in a 55plus retirement community.  Actually, she lived there, as did I, when we were under 55 years of age.  Now at 89, she has lived there over 60 years and due to refurbishment of the park, she is having to move a short distance to another location.  This has been a big deal and a long process that has resulted in a lot of anxiety.   We went to help her pick out a place and she found one quickly and it is very nice.  She is happy and I am relieved.  The weather there was wonderful.   It did rain the day before we left, but it was warmer and compared to the rest of the country it felt great.   I wish I could have stayed longer.   I have a headache and the constant heater running dries out the air so much in the house.  I might have to get out and do something but I just don't feel like it.  

I have been thinking a lot about men and women , and how things might have been different if I were a man.    I do tend to notice small things in my day to day life that reflect the automatic behaviors in our culture that are dictated by gender.   Being with my mother and my man friend on this trip, I had a chance to notice small ways that she will defer to him, or any male for that matter, because he is a male.    I know that this had a big affect on me growing up, because it just has to.  There is no way that attitude of male superiority can't be transmitted onto me by my mother as she raised me.   I am starting to think about how it has shown up in my life, and how it still effects me.   A lot of thinking to do!

Saturday, January 25, 2014

Sometimes I just don't want to sleep.

I have never been a morning person.  I always have a hard time waking.   I am so relieved that I don't have to get up early anymore.   Ironically, I still wake up about the same time.   I am often tired, and typically don't get more than seven hours or so of sleep.    Thankfully, I sleep well.   I have learned that I can't drink any caffiene after 5 pm or I will not sleep that night.  I like to stay up and read, or find small projects to do.   Sometimes I listen to music.   Sometimes I knit or watch tv.    I just enjoy that time of the day.   It is usually quiet and I feel calmer.    Tonight is a good example.   It is 3 am and I am posting a blog entry.

I think part of it is loneliness.   I think part of it is just my internal clock.   I don't want to miss anything.   I don't want to miss an opportunity.  I used to think that when I worked it took that long to wind down and to have time for myself.   I am not sure if that is the reason or not.

I am tired at last, and my bed is straightened.    I think I will take a quick hot shower and go to sleep.  I have to take Hoosier tomorrow to get his shots and to get fixed.   Shhhhhh, don't tell him he is about to loose his balls in the morning.

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Yogalicious!

I went to yoga tonight, after aqua zumba.   This yoga class is more of a stress reducer and meditation, stretching than it is hard core difficult poses.   My new favorite person is my teacher for both classes, Maria Williams.  She is very talented and a skilled instructor.    Despite her gentle and simple instructions, I found myself feeling sore and achy.  Tonight, I am more achy and I am thinking that there is more to this yoga than meets the eye.   I am very cautious about what I do and always elect the less strenuous option, but nonetheless, it is stretching some things I didn't know I had.   One simple thing I find difficult is sitting on my heels, kneeling with my weight on my lower legs.   My knees are proclaiming, "What in the hell are you thinking?".   I think one of the best parts is her emphasis on breathing.  She is very focused on taking control of the breathing.   She says, "Control your breath and then control your mind."   I am hoping my body will cooperate.

On a lighter note, I got a call from my Mother tonight proclaiming, "I am at a party! Can't you hear the music?"   She had walked down to the Community Hall and they were having a party. She really enjoyed herself.  Apparently she went alone and brought her bottle of wine that I had left from my last trip. She said that she heard it was BYOB.    She was having a great time and thank God some of her friends had her under their wing.   (Don't tell her you read that on here.  I will never hear the end of it).   She is always full of surprises.    

Did I tell you Rusty and I won at trivia last night?  

I also had lunch with two of my favorite people and went by my old office today. I had to check on some things and drop off some movies.    I hope everyone stays warm.   I am looking at the temperatures up north and I see my New York family is in hibernation.    Eskimo kiss anyone?

Brrrrrrr! Sometimes this town is as cold as the weather.

Today was one of those days when it seemed nothing was getting done, but I was busy all the time!    I have been working on insurance problems, paying bills, yada yada,    Rusty and I did play trivia tonight and through some pretty sophisticated  strategy we won!   First time we won at Peter's Place and we had fun!   I met some new people who were relatively new to Dublin.  It is funny that after all these years I still don't feel like I am "from" here.   They talked about that strange phenomena of being in the "Dublin Bubble".    That is a pretty good way to describe it.   There seems to be a very different way of life , although very subtle.  You are either from here, or not.    I have watched this for many years.   It is hard to describe this.  People who are from here don't know that it exists.  They assume it is normal.  People not from here know very clearly that it exists, and in fact without an exception talk about the difficulty of being accepted.   I doubt it is unique to Dublin.  It is probably just a phenomena of a smallish rural southern town.  Some people who have lived in other deep south towns do think it is stronger or more unique here.   I do feel like I am at peace with it after all these years, but I still feel better when I leave and I almost never look forward to coming back "home" after I have been gone.   I feel proud of the fact that I have adjusted, and have made my place here.  I think most people would have left, and in fact a lot of 'imports' do leave within a few years.   I think it takes about five years to make a crack in the network.   It is an exclusive club.

Monday, January 20, 2014

Yard Work!

How boring could it be for me to post about doing yard work? A picture would help, but I forgot to take a before and ow it is dark, so I can't take an 'after'. I have a helper who as of late has not been very helpful, so my yard work has been behind. I really have not ever gotten all the leaves up from the fall! There was pine straw on the roof and just a mess everywhere. Since it was almost 70 degrees today I decided today was the day, so my dear friend Rusty helped me clean up a lot of the leaves and got the roof cleaned off for me. We worked for about four hours so I am satisfied with that. I have more to do of course, but the temperature is dropping in a few days. This has been a cold, but snow free winter. Something tells me that there will be no snow in Dublin this year. I think my northern friends have gotten more that their share this year. I would like to spend more time in NYC and western NY during the different seasons. I have mostly been there in the summer. I would like to travel there and play in the snow, watch it and drive around and see the trees with no leaves. I have never skied or snowmobiled. I would like to ice skate, but I know I would fall and I don't want to risk that. I would like to make a big fat snowman and have a good snowball fight! It is so cold that I think I need to head south pretty soon. It is too dreary here.

Sunday, January 19, 2014

Shoving Off!

I suspect this will be an occasional chronicle of my life as I move into the next phase of my life. I retired from a 34 year career with the State of Georgia as a therapist on December 1st, 2013. I have really enjoyed the last six weeks. I traveled and I finally am settled down with my routine back at home. I absolutely love retirement. I may want to work again, but right now I am enjoying my rest and really appreciating time to get back in touch with who I am. I am living in Dublin and I am trying to improve my home. I have closed my office and the middle of my living room is full of boxes that have to be unpacked. I have to first clean out my back room and office in order to get everything in place. I have a bit of a pack rat in me and this is really a big challenge for me. I tend to want to keep things for "later". I also have numerous collections that all take space. I have ten sets of dishes, crystal, vases, books, yarn, clothes, jewelry, art, four guitars, various other collections. I am going to do some downsizing. I have read several articles about this, and all of the suggestions make sense, but it is difficult to translate into action. I bought a big screen TV that I love and beetween that and my computer I have been doing a lot of reading and watching movies. I am going the gym and getting up in the mornings rather than sleeping in. I am only getting about six hours of sleep a night. Sometimes a take a nap, but I tend not to. I plan to spend more time with my Mother in Florida. I guess I will blog some events and experiences, sharing with others and learning from others. I welcome feedback and comments, if nothing more than to know you are out there reading! Right now I am watching the AFC championship game between Denver and New England. Right now Denver is winning and I suspect they will be playing in the Super Bowl this year.